Thursday, December 13, 2012

All Hail Yale!

So it's official: I have been accepted at Yale SOM!  I am elated.  Or at least I would be if I hadn't wound myself into such a tight little ball these past few weeks that I can't tell my toes from my wrists.  

Looking back at the past few months, I realize that I didn't really see this moment coming.  I've been trying to "breathe" and "visualize" and do all that other poppycock, but it has gotten me nowhere...then throw in a rejection from Stanford yesterday and my anxiety was peaking at richter scale, level 10.  Like any good earthquake, tremors ripple through for days afterward.

To say that it's been tumultuous is an understatement.  Read my previous blog post about anxiety to get the idea of what it's like.  I am so thrilled and talking to Kristen on the phone today sent shivers up my spine.  But it wasn't real until I got an email from a current student I met while on campus.  He saw my post on gmatclub.com and wanted to congratulate me.  I was finally convinced: this is it.  I'm in.

But where was I earlier this week?  Well, on Wednesday morning I woke up to rejection from Stanford.  Even though I was neither surprised nor upset by my rejection, I was sent into a downward spiral of uncertainty - was this an omen of things to come? Did it indicate the overall quality of my applications?  Was business school a ridiculous choice for a gay non-profit educator from a liberal arts college?

Fortunately it did not portend anything. Everyone knows Stanford's a crapshoot, and well, not only is it more competitive, schools look for different things. Or did it portend something?  I am not one of those people who believes that everything happens for a reason.  I believe we create our own reasons to justify and explain our world, but perhaps Stanford wasn't the best choice for me in the end.  I'll never know for sure, but I don't have any regrets with that application.


And yet I still have these tough knots in my stomach.  I can't unclench. I've spent so many months in this perpetual state of anxiety that I have completely forgotten what it's like to let go.  Slow I've been opening up, one little knuckle at a time, and the relief is more and more profound.  

Yale has become my top choice, but I have been too superstitious to say so out loud.  I didn't want to jinx anything, but there you have it, I am so into Yale.  My visit brought together something I hadn't seen at other schools: a diverse community devoted to social impact, familiar geography and landscape (I know, right, how banal!), warm and generous staff and students, and a gorgeous new building.  

So now I move forward, likely putting my deposit into Yale in the next month.  Yes, I'm still waiting to hear from Kellogg and Berkeley, but having an admit under my belt has taken the pressure off.  I still really love Kellogg and if I get in, it will be hard to say no to Chicago.  But at the end of the day, the experiences on Yale's campus blew me away.  Where does Berkeley stand in all this? I don't know.  They haven't wooed me at all, and I'm wondering if the future is bleak over there.

I may not be fully unwound, but now that I'm out of the pressure cooker, I can finally breathe like I've been telling myself for the past month. To those of you still waiting, I don't have any good advice.  Suffer through it and know that "this too will pass."  If nothing else it will make you insanely grateful for the acceptance.  Because lordy, it is a good feeling!

18 comments:

  1. You da man, girlfriend! So happy for and proud of you. There is nothing like that first admit because if you did things right an acceptance to any school to which you've applied should shoot you over the moon. Judging from this post you definitely had the right app strategy. No matter what happens from here, you're going to bschool. Nothing beats that feeling. Enjoy it, darling.

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    1. OMG, you just called me girlfriend. FINALLY, someone stepping up with some love AND humor! haha.

      Thanks so much. Hopefully we'll battle it out at some case competitions next year!

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  2. Congrats!!! Looks like you can scrap those round 2 plans!

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    1. Thanks! Thank god. I was NOT in the mood to write more essays!

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  3. Congrats man! Well deserved and very inspiring for those of us who are still waiting, unclean and unshaven with bad nerves lol.

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    1. I'm always unshaven...hmmm, maybe that was my problem all along! Haha. Good news is coming your way soon!

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  4. Congrats! Your blog has been a great read over the past few months, and I've found myself frequently sending posts over to my wife so that she can better understand just wtf is going on in my head. Thanks for that!

    I had a very similar experience with Stanford and Yale this week, though I had convinced myself post-interview that I was surely in. The rejection stung in a pretty big way, but Yale has done the same and wound its way deep into my heart. I hope to see you at Admit Weekend in February!

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    1. Thanks for sharing, and tell your wife to look out for my partner's next update...haha, she'll relate I'm sure!

      I don't think I'm going to make it to admit weekend in February, instead I'm gonna head up to for Welcome Weekend in April. You local enough to make it to both? :) Or are you still waiting on other schools too and figuring out if Yale is The One?

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    2. I'm debating between to two events at the moment. I have an interview with Haas coming up, but Yale is currently sitting at a strong #1 for many of the same reasons you mentioned above.

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    3. Keep me posted either way, and best of luck!

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  5. Very happy for you. I just saw that you made it to Kellogg as well and rushed in here to see if you have already posted something :) I have loved your blog. I am sure whereever you go, you will shine and rock :)

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    1. Haha, I was literally rolling out of bed when I got the call...oh non-profit work! I'll update it later today or tomorrow! Thanks so much for the kind words!

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    2. "I still really love Kellogg and if I get in, it will be hard to say no to Chicago."

      Curious to see how this turns out!

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  6. So I've been stalking your blog pretty thoroughly for the past few months as I've worked on my MBA apps as well. I'm 99.9% headed to SOM next year (I mean I have already paid the deposit but can't seem to wrap my mind around it!) It was great to read your thoughts on SOM as a fellow non-northerner (or 'yankee' as my dad would say) .. hope to see meet you at an Admit Wkend this spring!

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    1. You already paid your deposit! Wow, you're a quick one! So glad to hear you're heading to Yale. I'm probably throwing my deposit in next month as well!

      I hate to disappoint, but I'm a totally Yank. I grew up in NY! And actually, when I lived in Argentina, I was constnatly referred to as "Yanqui," the word they use for "US American." Needless to say, I'm beyond comfortable with this nomenclature. Haha.

      Thanks for posting and congrats on Yale! Woot!

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    2. Haha.. yeah, I had gotten my other admits a week before, so I had some time to ponder, and I just have a feeling about Yale. I definitely over-analyzed my undergrad, and want to "go with my gut" for bschool.

      One of the things that I think will be great at Yale, is that it will at least force me (girl from TX who has pretty much stayed in the same place and in small schools her whole life) to expand my circle/get other folks opinions. (One of my other options for bschool already has a couple of kids I've known since I was 3 headed to the class of 2015!)

      Hope to meet you in New Haven! & Congrats again on your great options!

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    3. Oh feelings, what are they good for? (besides everything!) I know we're gonna be super happy at Yale. Can't wait to meet you!

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