Thursday, January 10, 2013

Go Tell it on the Mountain

Today officially marks the end of my application process. When I began my applications back in July, I knew that January 10 would be the Day of Days, the date by which all my target schools would have notified me of their love or hate of me. And so it is, with a waitlist notification from Berkeley today, I am on the top of the hill, looking back on my uphill trek to attain admission.  With that world behind me, I finally begin looking forward as I begin my descent toward my Dream MBA Campus.  

This blog has been a rainbow of gay and yet somehow with all my references to Madonna and Project Runway I've overlooked the gayest thing of all: literature! Well, that's a crying shame, so I ask for your forgiveness with these words from James Baldwin's novel, Go Tell it On the Mountain:
"But to look back from the stony plain along the road which led one to that place is not at all the same thing as walking on the road; the perspective to say the very least, changes only with the journey; only when the road has, all abruptly and treacherously, and with an absoluteness that permits no argument, turned or dropped or risen is one able to see all that one could not have seen from any other place."

I love this quote, its packed metaphor really speaks to me and the journey I've taken. If nothing else, I've learned during this process that my perspective has evolved (and devolved for that matter). I guess in the end, though, it's pretty much all revolved around me, taken from my vantage point along the many stumbles, peaks, and valleys. I'm satisfied with the journey and am grateful for the forced reflection, an activity, which I hope to find replicated often in business school. 

So where am I at? Well, I attended a Yale soiree last night, and I have to admit: preceding the event, I was stricken with major jitters.  What if Yale didn't measure up? What if my gut was leading me astray?  I have noticed I am constantly hoping Yale wins, which is probably laden with a psychological landmine of unconscious wish fulfillment...

Well, Yale did measure up, that's for sure.  The event featured a panel of SOM alumni speaking on the impact of globalization on their careers and offering advice to those seeking careers in a global economy.  Their words wavered from wise and intellectual to banal and cautious, but my overall feelings were incredibly positive.  I topped off the night meeting my biggest fan (haha, just kidding, Dhokie, but you probably could've guessed I'd take a jab at you). 

But all jokes aside, it was really easy engaging with current students, admitted students, and alumni alike.  I've been commenting when people ask if I've decided that in many ways it's a horse race between Yale and Kellogg.  Yale took an early lead and continues to race on.  Kellogg has a lot of catching up to do, but, I'm wary of jumping to a decision before weighing the options completely. So over the next month I'll be putting myself out there, speaking to as many alumni and current students as I can before finalizing my decision.  Next week I have a Kellogg event here in San Francisco with other prospective admits, and I look forward to walking away with greater clarity or exacerbated anxiety.  

The weather's good up here on the top of this mountain.  I can see various destinations ahead of me, where before all I saw were insurmountable cliffs.  Now all that's left is choosing which path to take down.


  1. This makes me smile, but only because I'm a hyperpartisan.

    1. Maybe it's YOUR wish fulfillment then? Haha.

      P.s. EVERYONE knows you. I always mention you as someone I've talked to when I chat with current students. I happened to have a great conversation with the Turkish woman from your group.

    2. I LOVE her. I hope you asked her about how she's a lion tamer.

    3. Shut up, she was the famous lion tamer you mentioned!? That's awesome.

  2. Hi Sassafras!

    I loved reading your article above. I know exactly what you mean when you say "I can see various destinations ahead of me, where before all I saw were insurmountable cliffs.". I been through one roller-coaster ride myself since January 2012 - TOEFL, GMAT, Essays, Interviews, Waitlist, Admits, Enrolment, Scholarships, and now Visa...But it feels like it was worth it.

    As I get acquainted with more incoming students and realize all of them are either married or straight, I feel terribly frightened. How does one ever get to "express himself" in such a "straight" world!! Moreover, since I am not out as yet, I'm not sure how can I ask my school about their LGBT activities. Any suggestions?

    Thanks and Best wishes,

  3. A, please email me at I would be happy talk to more about this stuff. I can put you in touch with some lgbt people at a bunch of these schools and I know people would respect your anonymity. US colleges and business schools are really welcoming places! I hope you get to see that soon! Let's talk.